


The Third Date Theory

by MyGoldenEyes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Asexual Character, Bi Author, Bisexual Izzy, But no sexual content, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, OCs - Freeform, ace author, asexual!Alec Lightwood, bi isnt half gay, but bi people can say they're half gay for jokes, but no sex, izzy jokes about being half gay, jokes about straight culture, pornstar!Magnus Bane, talk about sex, this was supposed to be short, three date theory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 23:23:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14555820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyGoldenEyes/pseuds/MyGoldenEyes
Summary: Magnus Bane is a porn star that usually can't make it past the third date, aka the date where you put out, where he has to tell people about his job.Alec is just super ace and didn't realize it was a thing.





	The Third Date Theory

Date three, date three, three dates. One, two, three. There get togethers that were mutually agreed to be part of the courting ritual. Magnus wasn’t ready for date three. In modern society it was generally agreed that three dates was an acceptable amount of time before sex. It was also proper in today’s society, or at least Magnus liked to think it was proper to discuss sexual history with a new potential partner in an attempt at transparency. 

Unfortunately for people like Magnus Bane, this combination usually ended most relationships at date three. Despite how the internet made it seem, people didn’t find their potential partner being a porn star very sexy. But Magnus really liked this new boy. He was kind, thoughtful, and really fucking hot. A rare combination these days. 

Part of Magnus was hopeful that when he worked up the nerve to tell his new boy, Alec, that Alec would be as kind and understanding as he had been about everything else. Still, it was undeniable that telling someone about your Scandle addiction, or even actual past addiction to alcohol was different than confiding in them that your job was to have sex with other people. 

There was another, despicable, horrible, detestiable, part of Magnus that wanted to keep his secret just a little longer. Twist his words. Make it seem like he had just had some wild college years and that’s what accounted for the high number of past sexual endeavors. But he wouldn’t, couldn’t do that to Alexander. 

***

“So are you excited about date number three?” Izzy arched one eyebrow suggestively at Alec while sipping on her coffee. Alec gave her a blank stare while absent-mindedly stirring sugar into his tea. He couldn’t imagine why she was giving him that look he knew to associate with some sort of sexual innuendo. Izzy rolled her eyes at Alec’s lack of response. “Third date theory big brother! You’re finally gonna get some!” 

Alec started coughing as he brought his tea up to his mouth despite the fact that he hadn’t taken a drink yet. 

“Is that a thing?” Izzy gave Alec a pitying yet amused look as she nodded, “Are you sure that’s not just one of those dumb straight rules, like waiting to text back?” Izzy shook her head again. 

“I’m half gay so I know it-”

“I don’t think that’s how bi works-”

“Yes it is, I’m half gay so I know it’s true no matter who your partner is.” Alec looked at her with a thoroughly empty expression for a moment before swearing loudly. “What?” Izzy asked, now mildly concerned. “Is this guy unattractive or something, did you not plan on going that far? I thought you liked him.”

Alec sighed, “I do like him, a lot. I just don’t want to- I don’t like, sex isn’t really my...thing” Alec finished lamely, gesturing as if this would make his point more clear. 

“Are you ace?” Izzy asked in a hushed tone that if it hadn’t been dripping in Izzy’s signature amusement and awe could have been misconstrued as offensive. As the situation was Alec just nodded, surprised that this had never come up before. 

Of course now that Alec thought about it, he had gotten so caught up in the whole gay thing he hadn’t ever really addressed his lack of sexual desire. Honestly, it never felt like something that was any of anyone’s business except his and any hypothetical partner. Maybe this was normal for ace people, Alec made a mental note to ask Kara, after he asked about this weird three date thing. 

“Why did you never tell me?” Alec shrugged and Izzy gave him an annoyed glare. 

“It never really came up ok?” Alec was suddenly feeling defensive, “We might be close but there is no natural way to bring it up. What was a supposed to say ‘I just got a new boyfriend, he’s super hot, really nice, oh and also I feel no sexual attraction to him because i don’t feel any sexual attraction. How’s law school?’” laughter was beginning to bubble through the cracks of Izzy’s angry glare. 

“As long as you weren’t intentionally keeping it from me. Shame and secrets in this family died ten years ago.” Alec grimaced as Izzy’s words brought an image of his fifteen year old self standing in front of his family with tears running down his face as his father yelled slurs at him after his father had found something suggesting homosexuality(or more romanticism in Alec’s case) in the first draft of an essay. That night Alec’s father had been kicked out and Alec’s mother had sent all of his siblings to friend’s houses and sat with him and reminded him that he was loved. 

Izzy put a hand on Alec’s shoulder, “Sorry,” her voice was soft and kind. Something a little too close to the attitude she had threatened him with back then, back when he was fragile. Alec gave her a reassuring smile, trying to reassure her that he was fine. 

“But back to this rule. Do I have to?” Izzy laughed at Alec’s awkward topic switch. 

“No, and if Magnus makes you feel like you do then-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah you’ll make sure no one even remembers him and that no one will ever be able to find the body.” Alec chuckled and finally took a sip of his tea which was a little cold now. 

Izzy lifted her own drink up to her bright red lips and took a sip, “Oh there won’t be a body for a long time. He will not be given a quick death.” Alec was reminded why so many people were terrified of Isabelle Lightwood. 

***

Alec: Is there a three date= sex rule?

Kara: yeah, y do u ask?????

Alec: fuck…

Kara: It’s date three with mr. glitter isn’t it?

Alec: Yeah…

Kara: just be honest dude  
Kara: dont worry too much. Just look at me and nes  
Kara: girls a sex demon and we do just fine  
Kara: communication  
Kara: all that shit 

Alec: thanks I guess  
Alec: didn’t need to know that about your girlfriend

Alec shut his phone off and looked at himself in the mirror. He had an hour before his date so he had decided to text his old college friend Kara. She also happened to be the only of ace person he knew. He hoped that she would be helpful, she was in a long term relationship with someone who, as she had so eloquently stated, was basically a sex demon. Her advice, while intelligent, was doing little to calm Alec’s nerves. 

Logically, Alec knew that Magnus was understanding and sweet and that he’d never make Alec do anything he didn’t want to. But still, it would have been different if Alec just wasn’t ready for sex yet. As things stood Alec would most likely never have or even desire sex. It was a lot to ask someone to give up for someone they had only been on three dates with. 

Maybe Alec didn’t need to say anything. 

***

Magnus shifted his weight outside of Alec’s apartment door again. He had been standing there for nearly five minutes, he was reaching past stalling at this point, far to close into ‘running away’ territory.  
“Get yourself together Bane! So what if Alec’s amazing and perfect and you’re probably falling in love with him? Who cares that he might leave you in a matter of hours? Pull yourself together and give him the chance to actually be a good person before you start projecting actions on to him.” Magnus internally ranted to himself until he finally got up the courage to knock on the door. 

It opened instantly but slowly. It was clear that Alec had been at the door already, a revelation that sent color to Magnus’ cheeks, but then why did he open the door so hesitantly. Magnus was struck with the thought that it was possible that Alec already knew. He could have stumbled on to some of Magnus’ work and now he was trying to find a way to dump him-

“Ready to go Mags?” Magnus was pulled out of his mental spiral by Alec’s eager voice. There was a soft tremor of anxiety to it but Magnus felt that it was the normal date type of anxiety that came with being someone like Alec. 

The date went wonderfully. Alec was awkward yet charming as he had been in all of their previous encounters. Magnus had been able to keep his doubts at bay as soon as he remembered that he couldn’t predict the future so he was best just trying to enjoy the present. 

They had gone to a french restaurant of Magnus’ choosing, despite this detail Alec had paid. He had slipped his card to the waiter as they had walked in with whispered instructions to charge the meal to him and to not mention any of this to Magnus. Magnus had seen this of course, but he hadn’t been able to argue someone out of spoiling him just this once, especially when he was nearly certain that it would be the last time. 

After their meal they had opted to walk back to Magnus’ place. Alec mentioned that he would get a cab after he had seen Magnus home but Magnus, mistaking his genuine suggestion for an empty suggestion had insisted that Alec come in for a night-cap. Magnus had left Alec in his living room while he went to get drinks, though he was really trying to compose himself for the oncoming rejection. 

When Magnus returned Alec was looking down at his phone with furrowed brows. He seemed slightly distressed which seemed odd, he had nothing to be stressed about. 

Magnus took a seat next to Alec and offered him a drink. Alec hurriedly shoved his phone in his pocket and took the drink. Alec brought the drink up to his lips and pantomimed taking a drink then placed it on the coffee table. Magnus felt a laugh tickle at the back of his throat. Alec would always do this. Magnus had realized on their first date that Alec didn’t really drink, he hadn’t told Alec he knew though. So after every date Magnus would make Alec a drink and Alec would pretend to drink it and Magnus would pretend to believe him. Magnus was very grateful for this at the moment, he would prefer not to have this conversation with a drunk man. 

“So Alec I need to tell you something,” Magnus said at the same time that Alec said, 

“There’s something you need to know.” 

They both shared a laugh and prompted the other to go first. 

“Really Mags you go, mine isn’t that important you go ahead.” Magnus could tell that Alec was lying by the way his eyes shifted away from Magnus’ own, along with the strange way he’d been behaving all knight, but he couldn’t bear to keep his secret any longer. Instead he just let it all spill out. 

“I’m a porn star.” Magnus screwed his eyes shut as he spoke, unwilling to watch the expression of horror he was sure was dawning on Alec’s face at that moment. After a beat of silence Magnus opened his eyes. He looked down at his lap still unable to meet Alec’s eyes. “If you think less of me because of my job or don’t want to have sex with me because of it then you can just-” Magnus began angrily but Alec cuth him off. 

“I don’t want to have sex with you!” Alec clamped his hand over his mouth and Magnus finally dared to look at him. There was no disgust like he had expected. He had intended to hold his pride. Put Alec in his place for being so shallow and not hearing him out, but Alec’s flustered and embarrassed reaction to his own words had knocked all the wind from Magnus’ sails. 

“I should have known better. You can leave then.” Magnus’ voice began to betray him as it faltered. But Alec didn’t move.

“No! You don’t get it! I never wanted to have sex with you!” Magnus gave Alec a confused look. His lips parted slightly as he tried to form a response. Was Alec saying he was unattractive, was he surprised that Magnus was able to do porn with how unattractive he was?

“Ah! Not like that!” Alec seemed to see those thoughts flick through Magnus’ eyes and he tried to explain himself, “I never want sex. From anyone. I don’t feel- Um I don’t feel sex things…” Alec sighed and buried his face in his hands as it turned red with embarrassment. Fortunately, this had been the push Magnus needed for understanding to begin to blossom in his mind. 

“You don’t feel sexual attraction?” Alec looked up hopefully and nodded, “You’re..you’re asexual?” Alec nodded again, glee spreading across his face.

“Yeah!” Something clicked in Alec’s mind and his face fell, “Oh god you’re a porn star. I can’t- I don’t- I’m sorry. I guess you’ll want me to leave now.” 

Magnus grabbed Alec as he moved to get up from the couch, he pulled Alec back down to the couch a little too forcefully. Magnus realized the sinister implication of this action after what Alec had just said as fear flickered through Alec’s eyes that were locked on where Magnus was holding Alec’s arm. 

“Not like-” Magnus let go of Alec and lifted his arms in surrender. “Sorry I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean stay, it’s fine. I don’t care. Well I do, because it’s part of you and I care about you and-” Alec silently took Magnus’ hand and squeezed it to stop him rambling. “You can stay if you want though. I don’t need…” Magnus let that hang in the air, unsaid. Alec just smiled and leaned in to give Magnus a soft kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you Mags.” Magnus smiled at his boyfriend. Honestly this could not have gone better.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a oneshot but I think i could write more if people want.
> 
> Send me a note at https://autisticauthorgabs.tumblr.com/ if you want me to write more


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